does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
