All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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