The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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