my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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