So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
