remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
