oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
