He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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