guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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