walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
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Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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