All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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