I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
