please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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