i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
