yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
