okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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