I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
