SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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