We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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