I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
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