I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize