It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
