I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I wear drunk well.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
