he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
this just has baby written all over it
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!