No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!