I want to walk on stilts...naked
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I want her autograph on my taint
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?