Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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