ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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