just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
My bed smells like the plague
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
