if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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