Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Randomize
