Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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