I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
