my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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