My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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