He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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