Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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