I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
