he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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