lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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