when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
