ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
