You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
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