He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I can't turn off my feet"
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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