If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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