I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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