You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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