you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
