Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
