its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
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I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
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Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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