We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
