I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
