Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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