In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Found your dick twin last night
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
