hotel room ftw
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
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My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
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They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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