I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
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I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
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He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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