My sheets look like a crime scene.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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