I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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