would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
operation have a gay friend backfired
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
