So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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