i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
