she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
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