gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
